Symptoms of Insanity

Knock on wood, we have all been healthy over here. Unfortunately, school has been cancelled for the entire week due to illness. My mental status has taken a direct hit, and as many of you already know I was CRAZY to begin with! Watch out. Here are some examples of my new symptoms. First of all, I have my Christmas cards ordered (half of them are addressed). Now even my husband can attest to the fact that this task is usually never accomplished until at least December. My parents' Christmas present is finished and will be ordered tomorrow. I think that my stomach has expanded three-fold in the last week. Is that a symptom? I can't breath. I think that I may even be starting to look like a pig. I can't roll over. I curse the swine flu, it has done all of this to me--I am sure of it.